Oprah, thank you for sharing your pain, shame and guilt. You are not alone! It’s time for society to realize that weight loss and maintenance are not only physically challenging, but EMOTIONALLY charged as well.
Close to two-thirds of the adult American population are overweight or obese (obesity is defined as 50+ pounds overweight). This means that 133.6 million, or 66%, of our nation’s adults are suffering with extra pounds. Of that group, 35 million women (33.2%) and 28.6 million men (29.5%) are obese. In addition, there are approximately 15 million people that are morbidly obese (100+ pounds overweight) or super morbidly obese (200+ pounds).
We thank you, Oprah, for admitting that your depression has been caused by your tendency to put yourself last on your list of priorities. Success, money, and fame do not equate to spiritual and emotional inner peace. Personal struggle is part of the human condition no matter who you are or what you do. We all have our struggles. As I always say, it’s not the size of the problem but the size of the feeling. Even someone as prolific as Oprah can be dismayed to find that their life is out of “balance.” All or nothing thinking such as, “I’m on the perfect weight loss track” or “I just can’t do it” will only result is failed attempts and a lack of inner peace.
Though Oprah may have never wished to be the poster-person of weight loss dos and don’ts, she has become living proof that there is no single diet or exercise guru in the world that can fix you. You must come to terms with yourself, the motivation behind your desire to lose weight, and the necessary lifestyle changes you’ll need to make. Tackle weight loss as you would any other goal you’d like to attain. Losing weight is no different than going to college, slaving through an unpaid internship, taking menial jobs in order to open bigger and better doors, and working on your relationships with your spouse and children. Success takes hard work. Achieving anything you want from life requires conscious intention and action. There is no secret solution. There is no quick fix. Do you want a life of mediocrity? It’s your choice and yours alone.
Oprah is a perfect example of the emotional energy it takes to cope with being overweight. The emotional hardships can shave days off your life. When Oprah describes all of the time and energy she has spent hiding her increasing weight gain, how she constantly beat herself up over her guilt, and how her growing unhappiness caused her social withdrawals, we can all relate.
Oprah’s emotional excuses became her way of life. Her all or nothing thinking has been apparent not only in her physical life, but in her professional career. Her decision making has not only affected her emotions, but her physical health as well. Extra pounds combined with your genetic predisposition (which can account for 20-40% of weight gain) are in direct proportion to the emotional weight you carry.
America, we are in denial and it is time to wake up. As a therapist working with those that are overweight and obese, as well as my own personal experience, has led me to the conclusion that weight loss is first and foremost emotional. We eat for comfort. We eat to numb ourselves. We eat to avoid work or self-care. We eat to blame. We eat to hold ourselves back from our true selves. We eat to hold on to our anger. We eat because we are afraid to say, “No.”
How many hours, days, weeks, even months have you spent thinking about your weight loss while your life is passing you by? How much emotional energy are you spending thinking about what you want to eat, what you should or shouldn’t eat, how much you ate, or where you’ll eat? How much time do you waste worrying that people are watching you eat, judging your portion size and appearance? Do you refuse to look at your body in the mirror? Do you have a food buddy? Do you hide food? How many times a day do you lie to yourself when you say “I just like food”?
Your Emotional DNA is made up of your body type, lifestyle, genetic predisposition, culture, race, values, and life experiences. Are you trying to fit into your jeans from college? Are you struggling to reach the “healthy weight” displayed on the unrealistic chart in your doctor’s office, which hasn’t been updated since the day it was created? Do you remember how thin you got on a certain diet and are battling to get back there? You need to set a realistic goal weight to compliment your Emotional DNA. Otherwise, you will be doomed to a life of constant yo-yoing, frustration, and disappointment.
Ask yourself: What would replace the drama in your life if you were at your ideal weight? What is your life’s purpose? Do you have a vision for your life? Do you think that your only problem is your weight and that the rest of your life is just fine?
We must have a realistic view of our lives. To gain perspective, write your own obituary. If you were to die today, what is your perception of you and your life? Next, write a second obituary as if your life were different. What would your life be like if, as Oprah and I have both said so many times, you truly learned to love yourself? Now, take action.
Weight loss and weight loss maintenance are about replacing the drama in your life with the Four C’s: Courage, Conviction, Curiosity, and Commitment. It is about Excuse Free Living. It is about finding your inner voice, your dreams, your spiritual energy and connections to others, and leaving perfectionism at the door.
Make it an “Excuse Free Life” and always remember, it’s not the size of the problem but the size of the feeling.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment